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She got stopped because her ticket wouldn't let her leave the station and when she spoke I could hear her sexy upper-London voice. We looked at each other for the first time and decided to get a few coffees and chat but she was always on her phone, busy. I could see she was nervous so later that night I held her, starring into her deep eyes then we suddenly kissed - It wasn't amazing, more like a stiff boring kiss but after the kiss she kept cuddling up to me holding my hand and stroking my arm as we were waiting for the goodbye train like a 1930's movie.Next day, I had the Mayor of my City visit our work place it was incredible but also the final day of my apprenticeship.I received a text from her asking to meet again after work outside her work place (which is literally outside my ex's house) We spoke on the field for 15 minutes before I offered to take her back mine.When we finally got there it was already dark I was incredibly tired and just wanted to hold and talk to her whilst. ”“Then tell me why not. We’re happy. We love each other.”“You’re not ready.”Frustrated, I said, “Enough with the not ready, honey. Tell me why!”She smiled softly, reached out and caressed my jaw. “When you can go into Addison’s room, then you’ll be ready.”As much as it hurt to hear it, the truth hurt even more. Kimber was right. I’d avoided Addison’s bedroom, forever closed, my way of avoiding painful memories, shut away in a corner of my mind.I was happy, yet the ghost of her hovered. While Kimber slept, I wrestled with fear. Opening her bedroom would open memories I had pushed down. I’d never faced the loss, accepted, the prospect terrifying me. I could never forgive myself.Maybe Kimber was right. Maybe she was far, far more insightful than I gave her credit for.I slept restlessly, tossing and turning so much Kimber complained. She was bright and energetic in the morning, giving me smiles and a kiss before heading off to class.I moped. I wandered the house at loose ends, the closed.
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